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| Things come the best when you expect the least This is a new realization and understanding. I think it means a lot for me.
I am someone who expect a lot from everythings and everyone in my life. I put much effort to hope for things, and to control how the things will go. But I realize that the more effort I put, the least I feel satisfied with the outcome. The problem is I take TOO MUCH of the control, and didn't give any place to the one who creates me, which is the ALMIGHTY GOD.
And after all this while, I am soo tired. My heart needs a long rest. I want to put everything down, to surrender all the things in his hands, and enjoy the things and blessings he will grant in my life.
I have always had my own definition of what is good or bad. But I just realized that my "wisdom" is limited and my strength is always weak whenever I try myself to be strong. Lord, take my hand and hold my heart, from now on till the end of my life. Amen | | |
| Today is a special day,again! Today, I got a job! After struggling for two months here in Singapore, crying myself almost everyday, for the answer that what the life means to be, what kind of job I am gonna get, what is his will in my life.
Everything is over. And soon, I 'll start a new life. I have never thought of entering a Korean based company, further more a shipping company. Everything is just the beginning. I haven't seen all the goodness in it, but I am sure this would be the best if God provides it. What I need to do now is to accept it with a thankful heart, and at the same time, believing in him that he will lead all the way through no matter what happened. It might not seen the best in many aspects, such as salary, working locations, and the jobs scopes which I'm gonna be doing. But when the time comes, I 'll get to understand God's plan in it. My Prayer: Lord, I thank you for guiding me through in this extremely hard time. I know that I didn't put much effort in it, but you still did provide it due to my needs. You know everything in my minds, you know what I am longing for in my life. Lord, I do not want to make you angry, do not want to do anything that will trigger your anger. Lord, please change my mind, mold my heart, make me obey your words in any circumstances based on faith in you. make me a success in wherever you place me. Amen!!
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| "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
I've been struggling hard lately with my own personalities. I hate myself because I want everything to be perfect. This character make myself really suffering and cannot enjoy the things that have been granted by God. I have that "ideal" thing in my mind all the time. putting hopes on humans, that what I think will be the best, and hardly accepting any advices.
I came to understand that everything works out well to glorify the Lord. Why keep holding on something which you can't change? Why not believe in Jesus and surrender under his will, for the most " ideal " thing which is far more better than what you can expected and thought about?
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| I have not been writing for a couple months.. perhaps almost three months...woo...... anyway, I got a job and have been working for one and a half month at evergreen, a wholesale enterprise that provides foods for the restaurant mainly in Oklahoma. At the beginning, the job was tough for me, as I do not possess any working experience and most importantly the communication skills between customers and coworkers. I was facing a lot of stress from different people and aspects. Things getting better and better when the time passes, I would not say I'm good in dealing with my job now.. but at least ... I know that I'm improving ... day by day... thanks lord! He has been by my side every moment no matter ups and downs... by his grace, through his comforts, words and those who are in him. | | |
| I went to Edmond today. Leonie brought me for an interview at a wholesale company. I really don't like the working environment, especially when the boss said I need to stay at the warehouse to know well about the company's products and prepare the invoices thingy... oh ... I nearly "pengsan".... nO... I will not consider it~ I was thinking that I rather work in a restaurant than there.. so Leonie brought me to two fancy restaurants in Edmond - - Fuji Sushi Bar & Kang's Fresh Asian Cuisine. To my surprise, both restaurants have the SAME uniform -- black sweartshirt and pants with a red tie. Looks very professional for me. But I do not know whether they will hire me or not. Actually, I do not care what I do now, I just want AT LEAST a part- time job. I will concentrate on my "banking" position at a BANK. This is my target now!!
I ate too much beef today... had vietnamese noodles with well done frank, tendon and tripe in the afternoon at Pho Hoa. At night, Leonie brought me to go to a HongKong restaurant to have Rice with sliced beef & egg.
I was sooo tired after I got back here. Kinda in a "bad" mood and don't like to talk. So I decided to watch an entertainment show sent by Linda two days ago. Later, I talked with Ahmak -- my true friend in Stillwater. He is a nice person, a true friend, and a mature gorgor who cheer me up and support in his ways whenever I'm down. It's really good talking to him ... thanks, makgo!~ You R da BEST ! ! ! Good luck in your interview at S'pore ^.^
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